i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pants are for mortals
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