just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
