If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
