Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
