Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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