We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
