he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
