we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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