Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
