it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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