I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
handjob tips. give me some.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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