I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you traded sex for a burrito?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
