I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
