it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
