and next time when you feel me up, do it right
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
