I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
