And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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