Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
