My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
