after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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