i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
