She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
