no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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