It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
