Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
