the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
