At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
