i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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