New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
