I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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