oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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