is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
