Screwed.edu
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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