Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
