I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
