can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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