this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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