Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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