Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
