5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
