im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
