Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
