she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
