that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
