I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
