Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
