Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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