Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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