..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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