I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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