she was so not down for the gang bang
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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