he wants to bone in the snuggie
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
