do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
