Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
